Choosing God
As I received the news that I have cancer, I was very discouraged. As a human and a follower of Jesus Christ my first reaction ofcourse was - God is really done with me this time. He has had enough of my sins and this time He has given me over to be punished. I do know that I am no saint, if something bad is happening to me I truly deserve it. I may have some small good somewhere but I am a great sinner - I was an internet addict, I was addicted to all sorts of images and videos on the internet. I can be lustful, selfish, rude, judgemental and I can go on and on.
All those are good reasons to be punished and disciplined. Over everything, my main concern was, not only will I suffer on earth but my family will suffer after me and I will suffer in hell as well. Surely, it was too late to repent now.
BUT, with the grace of God I had the good mind to keep reading the Bible and I stumbled upon Luke 23. What hit me is written in verses 39-43! It tells about two criminals, both on the cross besides Jesus, one on the left and one on the right.
Surely, it was also too late for them to do anything. They were hanging on the cross and dying. In no way they could reverse their actions or do any good deeds to earn some mercy now. One criminal had the natural reaction as he called out to Jesus - "Save yourself and us!". I too had the same reaction at first - surely God this is not nice and you are the God of goodness so save me! We can easily think if God does not save us He is not good or merciful or powerful. And I meditated on this.
What God revealed to me was that sooner or later we are all in the same condition. We all have to be on our beds one day taking our last breath (I pray that it does not happen to any of us before we are really old and full of years). In our last breath we will have the same choice, will we cry and curse God because we are suffering or can we do something else?
Back to the Bible, the second criminal had a different reaction, he knew his time had come, so he did a couple of things -
Recognized his sin (verse 41)
"We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”Recognized the divinity of Jesus (verse 42) Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
What is amazing is that this criminal had no extra knowledge or foresight, he was in the same position as the other criminal. Their lives were ending, there was no hope and nothing could save them now. In a tiny way I felt the same, I now had the recognition of my mortality and I cannot do anything to go back in time and correct the bad things I have done. I myself do not know how much time I have, I may have 100 days or 10000 days left in my body but I still have the choice of what to say or think. What encouraged me was that the second criminal was acknowledged by Jesus. I just said the same thing as the second criminal said - "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."
And I know the response of Jesus is the same today and forever -
It is the most wonderful and powerful thing I have read! From my childhood I knew the salvation of Christ but somehow I either took it for granted or forgot that it is not through my deeds, but solely through the grace of Jesus. Nothing we can do on earth can save us or condemn us, God's salvation is free and everlasting. All we need to do is, like the second criminal say it out loud - “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”